Sunday, November 22, 2009


I am so sorry that this blog has taken a back seat to my everyday duties.

I lost my loving husband of 19 years (but with him for 33) on October 5, and these last few weeks have been the hardest of my life to get through. Every once in a while something makes me think of him and I get the weepies, and although I know that life goes on, it's terribly hard. I think with his son commiting suicide just a few weeks before he died, it took everything out of Jim to help him keep his life.

I have been stitching some, but it's so much easier just to sit in a chair and not think or do anything but look at the TV. It doesn't even matter what's on, just noise. How horrible this life is right now.

A friend recently told me that after a loved one dies, people rally around, and then they go back to their neat little lives, all packaged up as before, and you are left with the unraveling of your life. I never thought about this much before, but do now, and am going to be a better person about taking care of other people's mental health.

Julie and I are having a quiet Thanksgiving this year, just with family, and a great friend, and will go and visit my sister and her DH who live in NH and who has recently had open heart surgery with 3 bypasses. I hope that he does well and that he and my sister have many long years more together.

Then, a dear friend and I are going to meet on Saturday in Sturbridge for a day of looking in shops and just getting to know each other a bit better. Should be a wonderful day.

I think that it is going to be a long road for me to get over Jim, not to forget him or what he was, but just to be able to think about him without crying.

Thanks for reading this.


  1. Oh Bonnie, I am so very sorry to read this. I know how Jim has been so ill and you have been taking care of him so long. ((((Bonnie)))) I know you must be hurting so much and I hope and pray that God helps you. I wish I had words to say to you to make you feel better. YOu are in my thoughts. xoxoxo

  2. Bonnie, I Just stumbled onto your blog via the Prairie Schooler Yahoo group and after reading your posts I am touched and I am sorry for your loss.
    I hope at this time, this comment finds you more at peace and know that Jim will wait for you to finish all your chores here.
    It sounds like the love you shared was a very real deep love and for that you must be grateful.
    God bless and may time help ease your wounds.
    {{{hugs}}} Jane